I am thankful!

I'm actually thankful for so many things. I intended to post this yesterday when it was Thanksgiving in the US, but I'm not from the US so I thought it doesn't really matter when I post this.

Yesterday at work I thought that it would be nice to celebrate something like Thanksgiving here in Germany. I often think that people take too many things for granted. They don't think about what it means to have certain people in their life. They're there and they expect them to always be there. But maybe they're not. I learned the hard way that too many people leave your life way too early. I lost so many people due to different circumstances and maybe that makes you think about things differently. I try to tell the people I really love and want in my life how much they mean to me. I even feel guilty when I forget to tell my mom that I love her when I go back to university on Sundays. It sounds crazy but I want her to know and hear it. I'm always afraid that one day another person I love will be gone. Those things scare me but I confront myself with those thoughts, even if that sounds crazy but it's a good thing for me, or not so good.

I'm thankful for the people in my life, those who show me or tell me that they're happy to be in my life. I'm one of those who need a constant reminder that they actually want to be friends with me, that it means something to them. I doubt myself way too often and way too much, and them telling me they like being friends with me helps a lot.

I need those people in my life who support my crazy ideas, my unhealthy obsessions, my fucked up moods and the times when I doubt myself too much. I'm thankful for my parents (that actually includes my mom and stepdad). And I'm thankful for two people who gave me the chance of my life this year. Two authors who let me do what I love doing – editing their books. They gave me my first chances and didn't really know what to expect. I'm so thankful for that because they helped me so much in getting closer to my dream-job.

On another note, I'm thankful for my dog, books, music, TV shows (I'm really addicted to American TV shows, I can't help it), movies, traveling, and all things awesome. Online shopping, yeah, I'm definitely thankful for that.

I'm sure I forgot a lot of things and there are too often moments in my life when I forget all these things I just mentioned. I forget them when I'm down, when I'm annoyed, when I don't feel good. But I try to remind myself of all the good things.

xx

Bookreview: 'Be My Downfall' by Lyla Payne

*I received an ARC in exchange for my honest review*

Toby Wright has always prided himself on being one of the most normal guys at Whitman University. He loves his parents, has a great job lined up after graduation, and with the exception of attempting to cross the unbalanced Sebastian Blair sophomore year, has kept his nose pretty clean.

But the rich never have empty closets, and memories long stashed away come spilling free when notorious party girl Kennedy Gilbert almost dies in his dorm room.

Nobody really knows how Kennedy manages to stay in good standing at Whitman–she never goes to class, doesn’t pretend to care about her future, and as far as people can tell, is never sober. This isn’t her first meeting with a stomach pump, but it is the first time she’s woken up to Toby’s concerned brown eyes. Despite the fact that she prefers life without friends, he gets under her skin with his insistence on playing her guardian angel.

No one knows better than Toby that people can only be saved if they want to be, but the realization that she has no one else draws him back into the shadows of Kennedy’s life–and eventually into her bed. But she long ago came to terms with a truth that Toby refuses to accept: she doesn’t want to be rescued, she only wants to forget.

Unwilling to give up on her, Toby’s dragged under by this broken girl and her dark, twisted Whitman University he never guessed existed. If he struggles to the surface, he’ll abandon someone he loves for the second time in his life. If he doesn’t, it won’t be long until they both drown.

“She had taught me about real love – and that it had to be selfless.”

This book left me speechless and broke my heart a million times. This is one of the most emotional books I've read lately. Lyla Payne has a way with words, and if you consider that the story was only told from the male character's POV, Toby Wright, it gives you even more reasons to be speechless.

It's not only about love. It's about loss, pain, finding yourself, accepting who you are and mostly about living life.

Toby Wright is not the typical golden boy. He doesn't get into trouble, doesn't drink much and is a good student.

Kennedy Gilbert is not the typical girl. She's barely ever sober, doesn't plan her future and only takes classes she neither has to work for nor attend.

Even though Toby knows it's not a wise idea, he gets involved with Kennedy and her countless problems. Kennedy tries her best to push Toby away, to not feel anything good because she doesn't deserve it, and to piss him off. She has more problems than anyone ever noticed and tries to handle them her way. Toby failed once but now he wants to do the right thing. After spending some weeks with a notorious party girl and witnessing her ways of handling life he realizes it's not that easy to save her from herself.

“You can't save anyone who isn't willing to save themselves.”

How do you save a person who doesn't want to be saved? How do you handle someone who's so willingly throwing her life away? How do you live when the only person left in your life tells you that you don't deserve to be alive?

I already loved the first two books in Lyla Payne's Whitman University Series but this one is by far my favorite. Maybe it's because it's written from the male POV only, or because of the fact that it's not only about young love. It's not only about two college students falling in love, it's about struggling with life, the past and the fact that you can't save everyone.

Life isn't always easy, and just because your parents are filthy rich doesn't mean life's always fair or you're not struggling with events that are long gone. Life is not perfect.

Even though the reader only gets to read about Toby's thoughts we also get a good impression about what Kennedy feels, thinks and about how she sees her life, her future and herself.

I'm still swooning over Toby and, damn, I totally fell in love with that guy. He's no bad boy and he tries to be the hero in Kennedy's life, but everyone needs a hero sometimes.

I enjoyed this book so much and can't wait to read more from Lyla Payne. 

I highly recommend this book and the whole series! 

My Life According To All Time Low

Two friends already posted this game and as I love song challenges I had to do this one, too.

So the rules are simple: Choose a band and use their song titles, cleverly answer the questions with song titles, use every song only once. Done. It's harder than you think. Re-post as: My Life According To...

I chose All Time Low, one of my favorite bands. It was hard sometimes, but those games are always fun.

 

Pick your artist.  
All Time Low


Are you male or female?  
That Girl


Describe yourself.
A Daydream Away


How do you feel?  
Merry Christmas, Kiss My Ass


Describe where you currently live.
Somewhere in Neverland


If you could go anywhere, where would you go?  
Hello, Brooklyn


Your favorite form of transportation:  
Let It Roll


Your best friend is...  
The Reckless And The Brave


You and your best friends are...  
Lost In Stereo


What's the weather like?  
Six Feet Under The Stars


If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?
Coffee Shop Soundtrack


What is life to you?  
Sick Little Games


Your last relationship:
A Love Like War


Your fear:  
Therapy


What is the best advice you have to give?  
Stay Awake (Dreams Only Last For A Night)


How would you like to die?
Weightless


Your soul's present condition?  
The Irony Of Choking On A Lifesaver


Your motto:  
To Live And Let Go

Let me know if you did this, too, and link me to your blog. Have fun!

Don't let the world get in your way.

Sunrise at 6:30 in the morning, two weeks ago. I was on my way to work and I love sunrises and sunsets!

That's what I wanna do, get away one day. Following my dreams, doing what I love to do. I don't wanna live in this small town forever, so yeah, getting away one day is part of my dreams.

I made it. I was scared shitless but hell yes, it turned out great and I loved editing this book (I'm the editor of the revised version). If you like New Adult books, read 'Beneath Your Beautiful' by Tamsyn Bester (check out her Goodreads account). It was her debut novel and I loved the story.

Music became one of the biggest parts of my life, so of course I love my new bracelet.

Sunset a few weeks ago. These colors!

Bookreview: 'Bring Me Home' by Cassia Leo

Claire Nixon is a college student with a past full of secrets and heartbreak. She was saved once by her first love, and rock star, Chris Knight. But when she encouraged Chris to leave town to pursue his dreams, both Claire and Chris didn’t realize it would be the biggest mistake of their lives.

After a devastating year apart and thousands of miles of distance between them, Claire met sexy surfer Adam Parker. With his awful jokes and profound patience, he helped Claire pick up the shattered pieces of her broken heart for the second time.

But now Chris has returned and he is willing and determined to make Claire’s dreams come true—the same way she did for him when she let him go.

With Adam’s former girlfriend in the picture, Claire finds herself torn between the new, passionate love she shares with Adam and the love and family she shares with Chris.

Heartbreakingly adorable. Amazing. Romantic. Surprising. And the best ending.

“Love is not black and white. It's not even gray. Love is every shade of color in the spectrum, changing with every ray of light given and stolen. Sometimes you forget how much you love someone, until you realize their smile is like a spotlight shined on your heart.“

I'm still searching for the right words to describe this book in more than a few words. But first, I couldn't put it down.

After Pieces Of You, pretty much everything was possible. Claire got an engagement ring from Chris and a promise ring from Adam. But who would she choose?

Claire and Chris shared a deep love until she broke up with him so he could follow his dreams. She didn't wanna hold him back and even gave up their daugther without him knowing.

Claire met Adam when she needed someone the most and he was there for her and helped her survive one of the hardest times of her life.

Two men. Two different types of love. Two different lives.

Bring Me Home had so many surprising moments. Claire chooses one of the two men at the beginning of the book but that's not the end of the story. There's so much more, so many things that happen. Happy moments, sad moments, doubts and surprises. This book is anything but boring and the person who isn't happy at the end of this book did something very wrong. No matter if you were rooting for Chris or Adam, I'm sure that at the end you'll be happy for them all.

Again Cassia Leo had a way to describe what Claire, Chris and Adam feel that makes you excited for every upcoming page. I couldn't stop reading and that doesn't happen all too often. Sure there are some great books out there but I don't remember the last time I read a book in one day. But when I started Bring Me Home I wanted to know everything. Why did Claire choose the one she chose? What happens to the other great characters: Tristan, Senia, Jackie? Like I said there are so many things happening in Bring Me Home and at the end I was happy for all of them.

“No one knows how to love me like you and no one knows how to hurt me like you.“

Music was an important part for this last book of the series and I love the songs Cassia Leo picked to underline the thoughts and actions of her characters. There are some of my favorite songs in there and they fit perfectly.

I can't believe this series is over and even though it leaves you wanting for more because you don't wanna let those characters go, I loved the ending. You fall in love with Claire, Chris and Adam, and at the end it's good to see them all happy, no matter what they had to go through, it seems like it was all worth it.

The Highlighting Project!

A few weeks ago I had the following idea:

I love reading. Okay, I'm addicted to books, to be honest. I think it's interesting to see what others think of the books you like. So, that's how I got this idea. After posting this on my twitter a really good friend of mine said she'd be up for this project and that's how it went. I said that Slammed by Colleen Hoover would be a good book for this and I'm so glad that Jana from London Calling wanted to be a part of this and liked the book as much as I did.

I read the book first, using a pink highlighter and she would use a yellow one, so that the parts we both highlighted turned orange.
So, after reading the book and highlighting my favorite scenes and quotes, I gave her the book when we met at a concert a couple of weeks ago.

The book is one of my favorites. Not only because of Colleen Hoover's writing style but also because of the way she told Lake's and Will's story. Music and poems are big parts of this book, and for a music and poem lover those are good enough reasons to read this book. 

After her dad died unexpectedly, her mother decides to move with her daughter, Lake, and her 9-year-old son, Kel, from Texas to Michigan. Kel becomes good friends with the neighbor's kid who has an older brother, Will. When Lake and Will meet for the first time, Michigan doesn't seem to be that bad anymore and Lake and Will soon find their way to each other. But life has other plans and as soon as they found each other, they're forced to be apart again due to unexpected events. Even though they shouldn't be together, it's hard for them to accept it and their feelings can't be denied. Will loves poems and soon Lake shares that love with him. During their time apart poems and music seems to be the only connection between them when they try their hardest to move on.

Everyone who likes poems, music and a good love story should read this book. It's a rollercoaster, it breaks your heart, it might make you cry, but it's worth every single emotion.

 

If you have a friend who likes to read the same books as you, you should try this project. I loved it and I can't wait to do this again with a different book. 

Thanks again, Jana, it was great! If you wanna read her opinion on this project, go to her blog and check it out.

Bookreview: Fear Of Falling by S.L. Jennings

I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.

He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fiber of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.

My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I want.“Don’t worry,” he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you when you fall.”

And just like that, Blaine had staked his claim on the untouched part of me that no living soul had ever moved. He had captured every fear, every reservation, and crushed them in the palm of his inked hand.

“At that moment, I felt just like that paper heart: lost, alone, and in a place where I didn't belong.“

This book broke my heart so many times I lost count. It was not only wonderfully written but the story was something totally different.

How do you live when you're afraid of love, when you lived your whole life being scared of the one thing every person needs?

Kami meets Blaine when she least expects it. The moment they touch each other for the first time, she knows it's different. Different than ever before and scary. Kami is scared of a lot of things and Blaine made it his job to show her that love isn't scary. Kami lived her whole life pushing people away because she was afraid to fall. But what happens when you're in the middle of falling? How do you stop? How do you tell your heart that it can't happen? Right, you can't. But Kami tries everything to make it stop.

Her life was never easy, but no matter how much she wanted to, she never stopped fighting.

“My stories never had happy endings.“ - Kami

S.L. Jennings describes Kami's life, her feelings, her fears in a way that left be breathless not only once. My heart broke so many times for that girl, for all her fears, for the way she saw herself. A girl who thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved, who does everything to push all the feelings aside, to try to fight this world alone.

Blaine tries his best to show Kami every day how much she means to him, that he won't run because of her past, that he isn't afraid of her fears. But is he strong enough to fight until she realizes that she deserves to be loved?

“Because, Kami, when you know, you know. And you don't fight it. You don't deny the inevitable. You free fall because you know there's someone there to catch you on the other side.“ - Blaine

I enjoyed reading this book so much even though it was so sad but totally beautiful, all at the same time. It shows how much a person can survive, how strong a person can be when they've got others to count on. That's what you need: People to count on, people who love you, no matter how unloveable you think you are.