Bookreview: Fear Of Falling by S.L. Jennings

I can’t remember the last time I felt completely safe. Security seemed more like a luxury to me, reserved for those who were fortunate enough to have picture perfect childhoods. For those who didn’t bear the ugly scars that keep me bound in constant, debilitating fear. I’ve run from that fear my entire life. But when I met him, for once, I couldn’t run anymore.

He scared the hell out of me in a way that excited every fiber of my being. It wasn’t the tattoos or the piercings. It wasn’t the warmth that seemed to radiate from his frame and blanket me whenever he was near. It was just…him. The scary beautiful man that threatened to alter 23 years of routine and rituals, and make me face my crippling fear.

My name is Kami and I am constantly afraid. And the thing that scares me the most is the very thing I want.“Don’t worry,” he smiled, pulling me into the hard warmth of his chest. “I’ve got you. I’ll always catch you when you fall.”

And just like that, Blaine had staked his claim on the untouched part of me that no living soul had ever moved. He had captured every fear, every reservation, and crushed them in the palm of his inked hand.

“At that moment, I felt just like that paper heart: lost, alone, and in a place where I didn't belong.“

This book broke my heart so many times I lost count. It was not only wonderfully written but the story was something totally different.

How do you live when you're afraid of love, when you lived your whole life being scared of the one thing every person needs?

Kami meets Blaine when she least expects it. The moment they touch each other for the first time, she knows it's different. Different than ever before and scary. Kami is scared of a lot of things and Blaine made it his job to show her that love isn't scary. Kami lived her whole life pushing people away because she was afraid to fall. But what happens when you're in the middle of falling? How do you stop? How do you tell your heart that it can't happen? Right, you can't. But Kami tries everything to make it stop.

Her life was never easy, but no matter how much she wanted to, she never stopped fighting.

“My stories never had happy endings.“ - Kami

S.L. Jennings describes Kami's life, her feelings, her fears in a way that left be breathless not only once. My heart broke so many times for that girl, for all her fears, for the way she saw herself. A girl who thinks she doesn't deserve to be loved, who does everything to push all the feelings aside, to try to fight this world alone.

Blaine tries his best to show Kami every day how much she means to him, that he won't run because of her past, that he isn't afraid of her fears. But is he strong enough to fight until she realizes that she deserves to be loved?

“Because, Kami, when you know, you know. And you don't fight it. You don't deny the inevitable. You free fall because you know there's someone there to catch you on the other side.“ - Blaine

I enjoyed reading this book so much even though it was so sad but totally beautiful, all at the same time. It shows how much a person can survive, how strong a person can be when they've got others to count on. That's what you need: People to count on, people who love you, no matter how unloveable you think you are.